Patdambulance's Journals

revenge is sweeter than you ever were chapter 16. FINAL

I sat in the middle of my couch looking around tapping the feet of my toes against the wood.
I pulled out the cd Ryan gave me.
Placed it in the CD player and pressed play.

it was a familiar voice. It was Ryanâ�™s. He was signing?

So take one word you said
You put it in your bed
You rest your tiny head on your pillow
You wonder where you're going next
You got your head pushed to my chest
and now you're hoping that someone let's you in
Well I sure'll let you in
You know I'll let you in
Oh kelso, you

I laughed at first.

i'd swim the ocean for you
the ocean for you
whoa, oh kelso
and i'd swim the ocean for you
the ocean for you
whoa, oh kelso
you don't

But then I started to cryâ�¦

it's going to get harder
and it's going to burn brighter
and it's going to feel tougher each and every day
so let me say that i love you
you're all that i've ever wanted
all that i've ever dreamed of to come
and yes you did come
i want you so bad
can you feel it too?
you know i'm so, i'm so in love you
i want you so much
i need you so much
i need your, i need your, your touch

I cried and cried and cried.
I needed to go back. Leaving doesnâ�™t solve anything.
It just makes it worse.

I stood up, took a deep breath and wiped my mascara stained eyes.
I grabbed my luggage and ran out the door. Locking it.
Caught a taxi to the airport and overused my credit card, promising id pay back.
I never thought they would let me, but I was crying so that was an exception to why.
I couldnâ�™t keep still on the plane. Being stuck to a chair wasnâ�™t a good idea.
I bolted off the plane still pulling my luggage. I just wanted to leave it here.

Brianna woke up with a headache the next morning in a random bed.
â�Brendon?â� She mumbled slapping anything she could slap from behind her.
â�What?â� Brendon cried throwing a cushion at her.
â�Iâ�™m going to be sick and where are we?â�
â�At a hotel. And go to the toilet.â� He mumbled rubbing her thighs.
Brianna ran to the toilet. Spilling up random stuff.
â�Ewâ� she cried rubbing her forehead, pulling her hair back. Brendon rubbed her back holding her hair.
â�EW THATâ�™S GROSS!â�
â�SHUT THE FUCK UP YOUR NOT MAKING THIS ANY BETTER!â�
â�Ok, ok. Jeez.â� Brendon backed away walking to the bed and getting dressed.

Josie sat on Spencer in their hotel room drinking coffee.
â�Oh my god I stayed up all night with out drinking!â� Spencer said.
â�Yeah, well thatâ�™s usual for me, im the grown up one.â� She laughed. Kissing him.
â�I love you. Im so glad were getting married. I canâ�™t wait anymore.â� Josie sighed digging her head into Spencerâ�™s chest.
â�Me neither.â�
â�Lets do something today.â� Spencer offered.
â�Yes we have to. So what are we going to do?â�
â�Hmm. Go out for lunch, see a movie. Shopping. Does that sound good?â�
â�More than it ever will babe.â�

Alana awake in a bad she knew didnâ�™t belong to hers. And It wasnâ�™t a hotel room either, too cosy to be a hotel room. She looked down and realised she had nothing on. She gasped and turned to her side noticing Oliver was dead asleep hugging her. She smiled to herself lifting herself from the bed, yawning and putting her clothes on. She quickly wrote a note and placed it on his fridge with and advertisement magnet.

â�™Dear Oliver,
thanks for last night. It really helped that you took me to your place instead of leaving me there, I didnâ�™t remember anything.
Blah, blah, blah you know my number, so call me when you want to do something okay?
xox
Lana.â�™

She smiled at the site of him in his bad and walked out the door, to ring Brianna.

â�Helloâ� Brendon greeted picking up Briannaâ�™s phone.
â�Bren whereâ�™s Brianna?â�
â�She is currently washing the vomit off her face, oh wait here she is.â�
â�Hiâ�
â�Oh my god hi, howâ�™re you, whatâ�™s wrong?â�
â�Donâ�™t know.â�
â�Ok, can you pick me up from Oliâ�™s?
â�Yeah sure Brendon can.â�
â�Oh ok good.â�
â�Well cheerioâ�™s see you soon.â�
â�Yeap bye.â�

Spencer and Josephine sat at Starbucks sipping on their coffees.
â�Have you thought about your dress?â� Spencer asked.
â�Yes, I saw it the other day. It was magical. Its white, obviously, and it strapless, and then from the waist it puffs up really big and then goes right down the floor. Itâ�™s AWESOME!â�
â�Great. We havenâ�™t even really planned it though.â�
â�I know, I know, maybe we could have it at that really pretty church downtown and then the reception, at whatever hall, and then we could do those photo thingies at the memorial park across the street from the church.â�
â�I love everything except the church.â�
â�Why Spence?â�
â�I donâ�™t know, I was thinking more at an outdoor reception, Iâ�™ve always had the image of the ceremony outside o the grass with the wind and stuff.â�
â�Thatâ�™s an amazing idea; I love it better than anything. I CANT BELIEVE WERE GETTING MARRIED!!â� Josie cried pulling Spencer towards her kissing him.

â�BREEEEE!â� Brendon called walking in the door
â�Yeas.â�
â�Were back!â� Alana yelled chucking her bag on the kitchen top
â�Great. I need a doctors appointment.â�
â�Your just hung over. Jeezâ�
â�I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE ASSHOLE!â�
â�Okay what the hell.â�

I caught another taxi, paying extra so he would be fast. I arrived at Ryanâ�™s apartment that he bought recently from their new album sales. I ran out of the car and banged on his door. No on was answering. I sighed as tears started to swell in my eyes. I turned around to head to the taxi, crying softly until someone opened the door, my headshot behind me.

â�Hello?â� A girl called.
My heart sank, heâ�™s moved on.
â�Uhm hello, is Ryan there.â�
â�Yeah heâ�™s sleeping though.â�
â�Well can I wake him?â�
â�Uhm, yeah I guess.â� She smiled as I walked upstairs to his room; I creaked the door open and saw him sleeping quietly. I crept into his bed and hugged him tightly.
â�What the hell?â� Ryan mumbled
â�Shh just stay, sleep.â�
â�Stephanie?â� He turned around
â�Hi?â�
â�Why are you here your meant to be in Melbourne.â�
â�You made me come back.â�
â�No I didnâ�™t.â�
â�Yes. I was so in a rush to get back to tell you how much I love you that I forgot the CD!â�
â�Whatâ�¦YOU LOVE ME!â�
â�Yes, I love you so much, and I felt bad because you were right in front of me and I never knew. And I donâ�™t just love you, I know Iâ�™m in love with you.â�
â�Oh my god I love you more than anything in this world!â� Ryan cried pulling me closer to him. I kissed him hard before pulling his blankets over our heads.
â�Mmm, what about that lady friend of yours?â�
â�Sheâ�™s my cleaner chick she wouldâ�™ve gone by now.â�
â�Oh thank god, cuz I canâ�™t get busy with anyone hearing except you and me.â�
â�Hmmâ�¦get busy?â�
â�YEAH! I havenâ�™t done that in ages.â�
â�Thatâ�™s great.â� Ryan laughed pulling my clothes off as I did the same.

6 MONTHS LATER!

â�Spencer James Smith, Do you take Josephine Francis Lyons to be your lawfully wedded wife?â�
â�I do.â� Spencer smiled rubbing Josephineâ�™s hands.
â�And Josephine Francis Lyons, do you take Spencer James smith to be your lawfully wedded husband.â�
â�I certainly do!â�
â�I know pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.â� The priest said before Spencer pulled Josie into a passionate kiss as everyone applauded.
â�Oh my god this is so sad.â� Brianna said wiping a tear and rubbing, her now quite large stomach.
â�Why? Itâ�™s meant to be a happy?â�
â�Everyoneâ�™s changing. Were getting old.â�
â�WHAT THE FUCK. NO WERE NOT, IM STILL THE SAME. IM JUST IN LOVE WITH THE BEST GUY EVER AND BECAUSE OF THAT, I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME WITH HIM!â�
â�Uhh hello?â� She signalled to her stomach.
â�SO FUCKING WHAT! Youâ�™re having a child with the love of your life? Dude thatâ�™s lucky, I just feel sorry for you coz I hate kids.â�
â�I always wanted to adopt Asian babies. But my own is better.â�
â�Asian babies? Ok Then, thatâ�™s kinda gay.â� Alana Butted in holding Olivers hands tightly.
â�Whatever. God this is heavy.â� Brianna sighed trying to stand up.
I laughed as Alana and I helped her up, nearly tripping on the floor.
â�God. When are you due?â�
â�Like 2 months.â�
â�Geez.â�
â�SHUT UP! ATLEAST YOU GUYS CAN WEAR HIGH HEELS!â�
â�I know im lucky.â�
"We are! haha Bree, thats your fault for not using contraceptives."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP ALANA."
"Great comeback Lani" I laughed hi fiving Alana.
"I know, I know."
"Hows Oliver?" Brianna asked
"AWESOME! I think were going really really strong. its exciting"
"It is. He bought his band mates?"
"Well actually Spencer is oddly friends with them, they toured together or some rubbish."
"Oh, thats great. everyones mixing, everyones friends." Brianna laughed.
â�Hey.â� Ryan said walking behind me kissing my cheek.
â�Hey.â� I smiled hugging him.
â�Sup.â� Brendon walked over to Brianna kissing her.
â�Donâ�™t get all gangster with me Brendon.â�
â�WHAT THE HELL! Hurry and have the kid for Christâ�™s sakes. Your so God damn moody.â�
â�YOU TRY HAVING A KID!â�
â�Im lucky, I cant.â� Brendon laughed kissing her as Brianna hugged him smiling.
â�Shut up, I love you.â�
â�I love you too.â�
Ryan and I stood in the same place holding eachother.
â�I love you more than anything.â�
â�No, I love you more.â�
â�Marry me.â�
â�What?â� I laughed.
â�Marry me?â�
â�Serious?â�
â�Why would I ask something like that as a joke.â�
â�Trueâ�¦â�
â�Well?â�
â�YES!â� I squealed kissing him harder and harder.
"Why are you screaming?" Josephine hurried over with spencer trying not to ruin her dress.
"should I? I asked Ryan.
"Why not."
"Ok. IM GETTING MARRIEDDD!" I cried hugging Ryan.
"OMG REALLY? Brianna asked.
"WHAT? WHAT THE HELL? NO SHIT SHERLOCK. JESUS!"
"HOLY SHIT! IM EXCITED!" Alana cried.
"WE ALL ARE!"
"This is depressing and amazing at the saem time." Brianna sighed.
"Why?" Josie asked.
"Because were all growing up and moving on, we all cant live together anymore. Im having a kid, Josies married, Kelsos getting married, Oh my god Saying Kelso is really akward, your 22 and Im calling you that, and Alana, youve got a boyfriend who lives in England and you guys are so close and what if you move away?" Brianna said, tears forming.
"Just because Im married doesnt mean we cant hang out and talk to eachother like all day everyday." Josie re assured
"And just because Im getting married, and most likely moving in with Ryan and moving out of our house, doesnt mean Im going to forget about you guys. Our band is soemthing we need to consider bad." As did I
"OH MY GOD AND WHAT ABOUT THE BAND? IM A HAVING A KID AND JUST! WHAT THE FUCK MANN?!!" Brianna continued her depressive whining.
"Long distance relationships work if you want them too, i can stay here if Oli needs to go back home to recor and stuff, and he can come here and ill go up there, well be fine. it will work if we work for it to work." And Alana did too.
"Okay. well that was confusing" I smiled.
"It will be fine, change is good." Josie said
"Yeah it is." Brianna sighed
"Oh my god!" Josie sqealed
"What?" Bree, Alana and I said in monotone.
"GROUP HUG!" Josie screamed as the four of us hugged eachother.
"Its only going to get better." I laughed

Lol YEY FINISHED.
epilogue soon, if i can be fucked.

3 Words That Break The Heart In Two, Because Angel, I Love You. chapter 2

An hour passed and everything wasnâ�™t as bad as they all thought it would. This time round, Spencer and Josie were sitting down together at a table talking to eachother about god knows what. And that was a first. Brendon and Brianna were kissing eachother on the couch. And Stephanie was chatting quietly to William over at the counter.

*conatins some wierd shit

Josie looked behind Spencer, still listening to him, she saw that they had a sign saying that anyone could DJ for an hour. She couldnâ�™t help herself.
â�Oh my god.â� She gasped getting up.
â�What. Its not that interesting.â�
â�No not that! Look.â� She pointed mesmerized.
â�Uhmâ�¦the window?â�
â�NO THE DJ BOX!â�
â�Yeah what about it?â�
â�GOD YOU ASK TOO MUCH QUESTIONS LETS GO!â�
Josie dragged Spencer to the front of the club and screamed, â�œwoo!â� at the top of her lungs. From that second, everyone knew it was trouble. Stephanie turned to Brianna and they stared at eachother before getting up and walking to Josie.
â�WHAT ARE YOU DOING?â� Brianna yelled.
â�IM GONNA DJ BABY!â�
â�NO YOUR NOT YOUR COMING HOME WITH US!â�
â�You, actually.â� Stephanie mumbled turning to wave at William.
â�WHAT?!â�
â�Iâ�™m staying at a friends.â�
â�FINE GO HAVE SEX!â�
â�Well if you put it that way fine!â� Stephanie whispered violently storming away like she always did.
â�Come on.â� Brianna said. Pulling Josie, but Josie didnâ�™t want to leave, she pushed and shoved Brianna but she wouldnâ�™t budge, Josie pushed harder this time, but nothing, she shoved Brianna the hardest the could away, and Brianna fell to the floor, hurting something on the way down. Brianna was stone cold knocked out. She didnâ�™t move for a few minutes.
â�FUCK! WHAT DID YOU DO!â� Stephanie yelled running over, almost tripping on her shoes to the front of the room, while everyone was silent. It was like a movie was playing in front of them. No one bothered to help. They just watched.
â�It was an accident!â� Josie cried watching horror as her best friend was on the floor, unconscious, because of her.
â�NO! IT WASNâ�™T! YOU NEVER LEARN YOUR LIMIT. I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!â�
â�SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ACT LIKE YOUâ�™RE SO PERFECT. YOUR NOTHING BUT!â�
â�BUT WHAT HUH?â�
â� A FUCKING ANOREXIC WHORE!â� Josie screamed. Everyone gasped. Stephanie sat there, with her mouth open. She acted like she didnâ�™t say anything insulting. But she did. That was the thing; Steph could sure dish it out, but couldnâ�™t take it in.
â�EXACTLY YOUR NOT SAYING ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU ARE ONE!â� Josie yelled.
â�Im not saying anything because I cant be fucked with your bullshit. Iâ�™d rather go home and sleep.â� Stephanie said, she stopped yelling, she was hurt. Emotionally that was.

Brianna woke up. Completely unaware of what happened while she was knocked out. She was lying on Brendonâ�™s legs. He put his jacket under her head as a pillow.
â�Your awake!â�
â�Uhm yeah?â�
â�Thatâ�™s great, I thought you were close to goneâ�
â�It wasnâ�™t that bad.â�
â�Yes it was. It was like watching a movie. Creepy.â�
â�Okay?â�
â�Are you okay?â�
â�Yeah my head hurts a bit.â� Brianna sighed; Brendon rubbed her forehead before kissing it.

Stephanie walked up slowly to William and coughed. Awkwardly.
â�Uhmâ�¦thatâ�¦wasâ�¦veryâ�¦weird.â�
â�Daily basis my friend.â�
â�Uhh okay.â�
â�Iâ�™m joking! This was the first time ever, like Josephine gets drunk, but this time. It was just worse.â�
â�Ooohh okay.â�
â�You seem so oblivious to things sometimes.â�
â�I do?â�
â�Indeed.â�
â�Are you really anorexic?â�
â�Uhmâ�¦no?â�

William stared at her like he knew the answer.
â�Maybe?â�
â�â�¦Yes. Im bulimicâ� Stephanie sighed looking at the floor.
â�Whatâ�™s wrong with that? Donâ�™t be embarrassed, a lot of people are bulimic.â�
â�I know but im not a lot of people, and Im over the whole â�˜you have to throw up all your food to be skinnyâ�™ shit because you donâ�™t. But it just happens.â�
â�Thatâ�™s okay, donâ�™t worry, weâ�™ll get through this. I want to help you.â� He smiled holding Stephanieâ�™s hand, squeezing it gently.

â�You need help. Im dead fucking serious.â� Spencer said holding Josie out side of the nightclub, in the parking lot, while she cried into his chest.
â�I know.â� She sobbed.
â�And you wonâ�™t do it on your own, so weâ�™ll get it all sorted, and hopefully, in a few weeks, it will be better.â�
â�Promise me you will?â�
â�I promise.â�
â�Good.â� She looked up smiling up to him. He smiled back, wiping her tears and kissing her softly. They kissed harder, Josie slowly pulled her arms around Spencerâ�™s neck a pushed him towards her so close, she could feel his heartbeat. Growing faster and faster. Harder and harder. Josephine slid her hands up his shirt, up and down going faster, almost tearing his stomach in two. Spencer moaned quietly.
â�What?
â�We canâ�™t do it here?â�
â�I know, uhmâ�¦ we canâ�™t just stop. Well I canâ�™t.â�
â�And we canâ�™t go anywhere. My house is like a 15 minute drive and thatâ�™s too longâ�
â�My house is like 2 minute drive and THATâ�™S too longâ�
â�What? No it isnâ�™t?â�
â�Yes it is.â�â�
â�Well if we spend forever arguing it will just waste time and we couldâ�™ve already been having the best sex of our lives!â�
â�True.â� Josie replied looking around still siting on Spencerâ�™s lap, legs wrapped around his waist.
â�Hmmm.â�
â�Uhmâ�¦â�
â�I KNOW!â�
â�What??â� Josie asked excited beginning to linger her lips on Spencers neck.
â�The-the-the- STOP THAT!â� Spencer moaned.
â�Okay. The what?â�
â�Car.â�
There was a silence. Josie thought about it. Her first time in a backseat of a car. Not her forte. But she couldnâ�™t let this pass.
â�Letâ�™s do it.â� She smiled. Spencer laughed getting up as Josie kissed him harder and harder, pulling his scarf hard towards her, he held her waist moving his hands up and down. Pushing her softly towards his large Audi.
â�Is this your car?â� Josie asked looking at it.
â�Mmhmm.â�
â�God damn someones loaded.â�
â�Well I am in a pretty successful band and have been for the past 3 years.â�
â�Ooohh I like that. What do you play?â�
â�Drums.â� He smiled pulling out his keys from his pockets and opening the car door
â�Oh fuck. Thatâ�™s so hot.â�
Spencer opened the door as Josie stepped into his car; he got inside, and closed the door behind him. He crawled towards her but while he was half way, Josie grabbed his scarf and nearly chocked him pulling him towards her. She ripped off his shirt as he basically ripped her dress off.
â�Hey I spent 80 bucks on that!â�
â�Donâ�™t worry ill buy you a new one.â�
â�ITS FUCKING VINTAGE!â�
â�I donâ�™t care if I have to pay 500 bucks, just keep doing what you were doing!â�
â�Oh god.â� Josie moaned trying to pull of spencers jeans
â�Fuck that! You can do that, theyâ�™re so tight.â� Josie moaned breathing hard. Spencer took them off as fast as he could and while doing so, hit his head hard on the roof of his car.
â�Fuck!â�
â�Donâ�™t stop.â� Josie growled pulling Spencer down fast on her, he slid his hand under her back and slowly unclipped her bra, pulling it off her.
â�Hold me closer.â� Josie whispered.
Spencer slid his hands on her chest to her waist slowly pulling off her panties. They began making love. Finally.
Spencer rubbed Josephineâ�™s legs as Josie held onto the leather seats clenching her fist together the faster they went. She was already out of breath, struggling to breath. She was almost choking. Spencer noticed so he slowed down a little.
â�OHMYGOSH SPENCER DONâ�™T STOP!â� Josephine screamed.
â�Okay, Okay, Donâ�™t scream so loud.â�
Spencer began going faster and faster. Josephineâ�™s sweat was sticking to the interior but she didnâ�™t care. The windows became extremely foggy.
Spencer moaned loudly and Josie kissed him to stop him from screaming. He got faster, and faster, and faster, and Josie couldnâ�™t keep quiet anymore.
â�I-cant KEEP quiet!â� She moaned.
â�Im almost done.â�
â�I know! OH GOD!â�
â�SHHâ�
â�I FUCKING CANT!â� she moaned loudly, Spencer tried to cover her mouth but it didnâ�™t work. She screamed. It was like she was getting murdered or something.
Nobody heard Luckily.
Spencer laid his head on Josie chest listening to her heart beat. Calming himself.

revenge is sweeter than you ever were chapter 15

I hugged everyone goodbye. I was standing right at the front of the area were I was leaving.
I didnâ�™t want it to be too formal.
I was only going for a week.
I walked over to Ryan and stood there awkward for a while. And then he hugged me tight and handed me a CD.
â�Donâ�™t even open it until youâ�™re in the front door of your house in Melbourne. OK?â�
â�Okayâ�¦â� I said raising my eyebrow.
I walked over to the entrance and waved one last time at everyone.

â�Okay, can we leave before I cry, everyone?â� Josie asked resting her head on Spencerâ�™s shoulders watching her ring shine, to her it was the most colourful thing in the room, besides Spencerâ�™s eyes.
â�Yes, can we please! Yuck.â� Alana mumbled walking in her red patent leather buckle high heels off to the car.

The seven of them walked cautiously over to the car. Brendon slowly stretched his hand into Briannaâ�™s bag and pulled out her pop tarts and red bull.
Brianna wondered over to look at Brendon for a loving moment but paused when she saw him stuffing his face with a pop tart and sculling a red bull.
â�Whereâ�™d you get those Hun?â�
â�Uhmâ�¦I gotâ�¦them from a shop!â�
â�But we didnâ�™t have timeâ�¦why is my bag lighter.â� She slowed down her speech.
â�YOU ANALWHOLE. YOU GOING TO GET SO FAT YOUR GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK!â� she screamed slapping her bag on his arm and strutting off to catch up with Alana and Josie
â�I guess its just 3 quarters of Twiggy Violence this week.â� Alana smiled.
â�Uh huhâ� Josie replied sipping on her frappacinoâ�™s
â�ohmygosh im hungry.â� Brendon moaned holding his stomach
â�YOU JUST FUCKING ATE!!â� Jon yelled rolling his eyes
â�I was just trying to start a conversation. Geez, so much for freaking awkward silences.â�
â�Can everyone just shut the fuck up?â� Ryan yelled folding his arms tightly, fasting up his pace.
â�Lawd.â� Josie grumbled.

They got in the car and drove back home
Brianna fell asleep on Brendonâ�™s shoulder on the way..

â�Well I think its time to get going, weâ�™ve got to be getting started on our album tomorrow.â� Jon yawned standing off the couch that was covered in corn chips and red bull cans.
â�Speaking of albums, why havenâ�™t we gotten any new songs to practice?â� Brianna asked.
â�Steph hasnâ�™t really been here, sheâ�™s been gone in Melbourne for 2 days and She wasnâ�™t really in the mood to be writing songs before she left.â�
â�Oh. Okay then.â� Brianna smiled as Brendon pulled her up off the couch and into his arms. Alana struggled to get up and walked them to the door with Brianna.

I got to my old apartment in the city and opened the door cautiously; I had no idea what it was going to look like 3 years after I had left.
I put the key into the lock and slowly turned it around. I took a deep breath and turned the handle, creeping inside.
The house still looked the same; floorboards hadnâ�™t even had a speck of dust on them. They still had our gloomy bear and hello kitty head rugs on our floor, walls still were fuchsia and light blue. I felt happy; it brought back lots of memories. Like the times we would go partying at a club and walk back through the city to our house, half drunk. And the time we ordered pizza at 3 in the morning and when I took the pizza off the delivery guy, I dropped it on the floor and it went everywhere. And those times weâ�™d scooter around our house and ride skateboards through the kitchen.

I giggled to myself as I closed the door hearing my white marc Jacobs shoes clicking against the floor. I walked into my room dragging my case behind me. I laid on my bed and pulled out my phone.
â�I need a blackberry.â� I sighed turning onto my side opened the case from the floor. I went through my clothes and got up to put them away. This was going to be lonely.

Over in Los Angeles, the place was far from lonely. Everyone went to Williams house for a huge party. Alana invited Oliver to join them that night.
Brianna was already drunk after 10 minutes of walking through the door
Josie promised shed stay sober that night. Spencer helped her out by staying sober aswell.
â�œIm glad we went to starbucks before we came or id have nothing to drink!â� Josie giggled sipping on her green tea frappacino.
â�Give me someâ� Spencer asked as Josie handed him the drink and looked around.
â�I really really love you.â� Brianna smiled hugging Brendon
â�I love you tooâ� Brendon replied kissing brianna
â�So over there. Thatâ�™s William, he is the one holding this party, heâ�™s the lead singer for the academy is, theyâ�™re an awesome band, and over there, thatâ�™s sisky, heâ�™s hilarious, heâ�™s the bassist, thatâ�™s butcher, heâ�™s the drummer, so rad, and Michael over there, heâ�™s Australian heâ�™s the guitarist, and the last one over there is mike.â� Alana pointed out to Oliver while they sat on the couch watching the academy is play poker.
â�Really? Thatâ�™s awesome, Iâ�™ve heard about the academy is. Theyâ�™re really good, from what Iâ�™ve heard.â�
â�They are, and over there thatâ�™s Gabe and Ryland from cobra starship, I donâ�™t know the rest of them, theyâ�™re the only two Iâ�™m friends with. And you know my roommates right?â�
â�Yup.â�
â�Well theyâ�™re over there.â�
â�Isnâ�™t there another one.â�
â�Yeah Steph, sheâ�™s in Melbourne right now, had a few problems, needed to get away for a while.â�
â�Okay, what wrong with her?â�
â�Donâ�™t really wanna sayâ�
â�Thatâ�™s fine, Iâ�™ve had a few of those type of things in my day.â� He said coming closer to Alana rubbing her thigh.
â�Really?â� Alana asked leaning in even closer
â�Yeahâ� He whispered kissing Alana pushing her towards the couch.

3 Words That Break The Heart In Two, Because Angel, I Love You. chapter 1

new ff
yess

i love this one :)

Brianna sat in the corner of her room crying, shoving numerous amounts of anti depressants down her throat. She couldnâ�™t take it anymore. She just wanted to be happy and for everything to be normal and to leave her alone, but to her, they wouldnâ�™t and never ever will. She heard three knocks at her door and she quickly threw the bottle of pills under her bed and wiped her mascara stained eyes, sniffling.
â�Brianna?â� Stephanie called walking through the door wearing a silver little cocktail dress and Burberry heels.
â�Hmm?â�
â�Are you ready? Were leavingâ�¦now,â� she said looking at her watch.
â�Yeah, whereâ�™s Josie?â� She asked standing up wiping her black Betsey Johnson dress straight.
â�In the car, sheâ�™s driving here. And either you or me are driving back. Because you know whatâ�™s going to happen.â�
â�Yeah I know. Ill drive homeâ�
â�No I will.â�â�
â�I will.â�
â�I WILL!â�
â�NO! I WILL I WANT TO DRIVE!â�
â�Oh, okay then.â�
â�Goodâ�
â�Just so you know I did that on purposeâ�
â�Bitchâ� they laughed closing their apartment door behind them.

They looked like the typical Los Angeles residents. Always dressed up, they never left the house looking bad. But when they came home, that was a different story; they were a mess, except poor Brianna. She was the only one that kept herself nicely after going out to, particular outings. It seemed as though they made themselves look worthy of your time at daytime, but late at night. They showed who they really were.
They moved to Los Angeles, three weeks ago. And thatâ�™s a terribly long time to settle in. Actually it wasnâ�™t. It was incredibly short. But they let it get to them. Way too fast.

Briannaâ�™s a photographer, worked for a gossip magazine, so she knew exactly what happened in the â�œcelebrity sceneâ�. She was shorter than the other two. Had long brown hair and dark brown eyes she was the most natural and gorgeous looking and always looked her best, cleanly dressed, unlike the other two who always looked sick. She was the descent one, out of the three. But she had a secret that nobody knew about, she was helping Stephanie and Josephine, she didnâ�™t want to make herself look just as bad to them, or she wouldnâ�™t be helping them, now would she?

Then thereâ�™s Stephanie, she had it all, tall, gorgeous, blue eyes long brown hair. Sheâ�™s a model, and I guess thatâ�™s why she is so screwed up. She couldnâ�™t keep down anything, not even a freaking ice cream.
But thatâ�™s what she wanted. She wanted to be skinny, so she would be good enough for what she wanted to do. But she was already tiny and fragile, and vomiting up all of her food, just made her look terrible. And to be honest, it made her look ugly. So so ugly.

Lastly, was Josephine. She was also very tall, beautiful, had long brown hair, bright green eyes. Sheâ�™s a media presenter, well, was, she got fired because she either never showed up, or was to drunk to even say â�˜whatâ�™. And that was bad. Her problem was, she didnâ�™t know the limit. She kept going and going and drinking and drinking, she has had alcohol poisoning about 7 times. She needed to stop. But she couldnâ�™t. She thought it was fun, going out, getting wasted, embarrassing herself and then coming home, sleeping and waking up with an outstanding terrible headache. How her life was perfect, huh?

The three of them were 21, they moved from Australia, because of the drama, all theyâ�™re friends were always partying, getting drunk, sleeping around, they just wanted peace and to actually have a successful career. But they ruined it; they were better off living in Melbourne.

Stephanie and Brianna walked over to the car and got in. Josie was already driving away, she was excited, and she hadnâ�™t been out in a week. Trying to find a job was extremely hard.
â�Josie, donâ�™t fucking get pissed tonight, Iâ�™m dead serious. Youâ�™ve got to get back on track. This isnâ�™t going to get you money.â� Brianna sighed looking out the window.
â�I wonâ�™t, promiseâ� Josephine lied. She wasnâ�™t going to sit there and do nothing, and be bored, she wanted to have fun.
â�Good. Because if you do Iâ�™m fucking kicking your assâ�
â�Yeap.â�
â�Exactly. Only have a few drinks, donâ�™t get so wasted that you cant even pick up a shoe.â� Stephanie laughed. Playing with her sidekick.
â�Why donâ�™t you go eat a burger and vomit it out, keep you occupied.â� Josie yelled.
â�EXCUSE ME. I CANT HELP IT, ITS JUST DOESNâ�™T STAY DOWN! OK. YOUâ�™RE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT! YOU CAN CONTROL WHETHER YOU DRINK OR NOT YOU JUST DONâ�™T WANT TO. I CANâ�™T HELP THIS.â� Stephanie cried, tears fuming, she was so emotional about it.
â�™Whatever.â� Josephine mumbled parking the car and getting out.
They walked over to the entrance of the club and security guards opened the doors for them, Josie running in faster than you could say â�˜I like cheeseâ�™.
Brianna and Steph sat down on the couch observing the place.
â�Im so hungry.â� Stephanie sighed.
â�Go eat.â� Brianna simply said.
â�Its not that easy, I know I cant keep it down. So whatâ�™s the use.â�

â�I know but at least you wont feel hungry. Just try youâ�™re hardest to keep it down.â�
â�Okay.â� Stephanie said walking to the bar. She walked over to the counter and sat down rubbing her eyes.
â�Heyâ� A boy smiled leaning on the side of the counter, he was tall, long brown hair, shoulder length, wearing a green t-shirt, leather jacket, and skinny jeans.
â�Uhm, hiâ� She smiled turning around.
â�Im William, nice to meet you.â� He said pulling out his hand from his pocket. Stephanie slowly lifted her hand and put it in his, shaking it softly, then letting it go.
â�Iâ�™m Stephanie.â� She replied, they spoke for ages about all this kind of stuff.

Brianna sat down the whole time, in the same place, looking over at Josie getting drunk and making out with random people, sadly doing what she always does, it wasnâ�™t a big surprise.
As she was looking around she noticed someone that caught her eye, he was short, had dark, dark brown eyes, brown, almost black short hair, wearing red, thick rimmed glasses, a lilac hoodie, skinny jeans, and chucks. He smiled at her, before he walked over and sat down.
â�Hi there, Im Brendon, your new best friend.â� He smiled hugging her.
â�Hey, Im Brianna, and I think wed be awesome best friends.â�
â�Ofcourse, I donâ�™t even know you and I know youâ�™ll be cool.â�
â�Really? Geez, someones a fortune teller.â�
â�Actually, I donâ�™t make a living off my secret talents. Im a musician.â�
â�Oh my god! I play guitar but itâ�™s not a profession.â�
â�Well, what is your profession my dear?â�
â�Photographer, for bands, and once a gossip magazine, not proud of that one.â�
â�So you were the paparazzi?â�
â�Uhm, no way, I photographed models for it and stuff.â�
â�Awesome.â�
They spoke the whole night, keeping eachother occupied.

Josie was way too occupied to even notice anything around her.
She was making out with a boy, he was taller than her slightly; brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes, wearing skinny jeans, a t-shirt and scarf.
They were standing in a corner arms around eachother. A few times Josieâ�™s legs were around his waist.
â�Spencer!â� Josie moaned
â�Shh. I seriously think that you have drunk too much. No more I swear.â�
â�WHAT? Spence, I havenâ�™t even started. That isnâ�™t fair you canâ�™t tell me what to do!â�
â�Yes I can, itâ�™s for your own good.â�
â�Whatever just keep kissing me.â� She mumbled running her hands through his hair.

â�œYeah Im a model.â� Stephanie struggled to keep it down. She kept swallowing to keep it down, but it wasnâ�™t working like she thought it would.
â�Really? You looked familiar, maybe Iâ�™ve seen you in magazines.â�
â�Yeah Iâ�™ve been in so manyâ�
â�Any porn ones?â�
â�WHAT?â� She choked.
â�Have you?â�
â�No and I would never ever do that! Thatâ�™s utterly ridiculous.â�
â�Good, because if you were, sheesh, I would walk away right now.â�
â�Okay, well its great that you find that good. Will, ill be right back.â�
â�Okayâ�¦â�
Stephanie ran as fast as she could to the toilet. Se ran into a cubicle kneeled down and threw it all up, and it was only a packet of chips. But at least she was getting slightly better, she used to put her fingers down her throat, but now, she knows its stupid, and she thought that it would stop, but it just started happening naturally. Her body was used to it.
She stood up and wiped her mouth walked out, washed her hands and returned acting like nothing happened.
â�Back!â� She smiled
â�Whereâ�™d you go?â�
â�Just to tell my friend I might not be coming home.â� She walked closer to William.
â�Uhmâ�¦ why not?â�
Stephanie stared at him.
â�Ohâ�¦ OHHH, awesome.â� He smiled kissing her.

revenge is sweeter than you ever were chapter 14

"Open the door. Please?" I heard Ryan calling from behind my door. I refused to listen. I blocked my ears and put my head hard against the pillow. I knew Ryan would stop earlier or later, because he wouldnt want to make a scene. especially on his best friends celebration. Spencer was like his brother. I heard him sigh and his footsteps slam against the hard carpet away from me. I got under my sheets and stayed there. doing nothing. just laying thier with my eyes open, not thinking, not blinking.

The party went as usual. Brendon was playing Uno with brianna and a few of there friends.

"YES I WON MOTHERFUCKERS!" Brendon yelled standing up making a scene.
"No you didnt. YOU DIDNT SAY UNO WHEN YOU HAD 1 CARD LEFT ASSWHOLE!" Shane, his friend yelled signaling him to sit down.
"BUT-...oh." Brendon said disapointed as Gabe passed him another seven cards from the deck. They continued paying.

"Wait...why are you having a celebration, for not having a baby? thats just really wierd" Adam said to Josie and Spencer.
"Well, as sad as it sounds, we dont want a baby...just yet, we dont have room for a little kid running around." Spencer said.
"True dat" Josie replied.
"Oh well congratulations on not having a baby!!"
"Thanks."
"no problem." Adam said walking away.
"I love you spencerr"
"I love you too Josiee" Spencer replied kissing Josie for a long and loving moment.

I decided to come out of my room. and quit acting like a 6 year old who didnt get a lollypop. I walked down the stairs and sat down next to this random.
"Hey sexy."
"What the hell."
"You wanna come home with me?"
"DIO YOU EVEN KNOW ANYONE HERE?"
"No but I know you wanna know me."
"NO I DONT GET THE HELL OUT!" I said grabbing him by the ear, opening the door and throwing him out.

"Excuse me everyone, I have something I want to say." Spencer yelled.
Everyone was silent.
"There has been something ive wanted to do for a very long time. And I could never find a right moment. But right now, this is the perfect moment." He said smiling at josie. he knelt down.
"Josephine, I love you so so so so much, I would give up everything I have just to be with you, I dont care about anything else more than I care about you. I am in love with you. and I aways will be. Your my world." he smiled. everyone gasped, as they grew wide smiles on all of thier faces. I was shocked, this was the only time ever i was this happy, but at the same time so sad. my legs were trembling because i was holding them back because i wanted to run up and hug and kiss them both.
Josie started crying.
"Josie, will you make me the happiest person on this galaxy and be my wife?"
"y-y-yy" she trembled, finally, she gave in trying to speak and just nodded.

Everyone applauded as spencer placed this giant, diamond infested white gold ring on her finger, stood up and kissed Josie.

Now i could finally hug them. I ran up and hugged them so much.
"Oh my god i love you both so much, this is the happiest day ever!"
"thanks, your hurting me kelso"
"Yeap okay sorry spence" I said pulling away. everyone was hugging everyone.

when everyone was finished hugging eachother they all returned to their former states.

I walked up to brianna and brendon, chatting.
"Hey,"
"HI, where have you been?" Brendon asked.
"Upstairs in my room."
"Why, you shoud be out here RAGING!" brianna laughed.
"hmm. not in the mood to RAGEEEEE BRO!" i gigged to myself.
"Why whats wrong?" Brendon asked
"Im thinking about going back to australia for a few weeks. maybe just 1 i couldnt stand to be away for more than one."
"Why? you cant leave we'll all miss you." Brianna cried.
"Yeah, dont leave!" brendon replied
"I don't have a choice."
"Yes you do"
"I do, but i dont, its confusing."
"When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow. at 7pm."
"Ok."
"Im only gone a week you wont even notice."
"mmmk"
"good. Im going to tel the others."
"Yeah. were gonna go play uno again." Brianna aughed
"WHAT SO I CAN LOSE!" brendon yelled
"Yeop." Brianna laughed pulling brendons flanalette shirt towards her and kissing him passionately.

I walked over to Alana and william.
"Hello there"
"Hey."
"KELSO!" William said pulling me into a hug.
"mmmmmmmk"

"So what is up" alana said.
"Nothing much. hows OLI eyy"
"Hes good. hes such a gentle men when he wants to be. I love it."
"Whose oli?"
"Her boyfriend, hes pretty cute. hes in a screamo band, british, has his own clothing line, etcetera, etcetera."
"Hmmm, must be pretty full on cash."
"He is indeed, but he doesnt show it." Alana giggled like a teenage schoogirl.
"God." me and william sighed.
"So..moving on, well, im going to go back to australia for a week."
"WHAT?!" Alana choked.
"Im just goign there for a week, tomorrow."
"Hey, thats when michael is going back to melbourne for a couple of weeks."
"Awesome, i wont be a loner when I go."
"you wouldnt want to." William said.
"naww. Im gonna miss you. you know who else will?"
"who?"
"Ryan."
"can everybody stop talking about how much he likes me. geez."
"ok ok calm down. we wont anymore. your just as bad as the time when josie cracked it on us when we kept bagging about her crush and her.' sucking his man boobs and stuff' "
"HAHAHAHAH I REMEMBER THAT!" i laughed loudly
"thats was funny."
"mmhmm, well im going to break the news to josie."
"dont worry about it, we'll tell her tomorrow. she wont want to find out."
"true dat." i said walking away. i saw ryan being a loner so i walked up to him and sat next to him.
"hi,"
"hmm"
"im sorry for being a dickhead. You have your own opinions. Its just that your my friend and your meant to respect my desicions."
"I know. im sorry for that. i promise to not talk shit about jared."

"deal"
"mhhm" He said hugging me and kissing my head.
"Im going back to Melbourne for a week tomorrow." I said

"Oh...why?"

"Just everything. everything is gay and useless here, maybe if i go back, il realise how much i miss this place and need this place"
"And if you dont."
"I dont know, I never thought about it like that."
"Ok,"

we spoke for a while. then everyone left, but the boys stayed the night.

I packed and went straight to sleep. in my room, for the last time for a week...

revenge is sweeter than you ever were chapter 13

I walked over to the window and sighed watching him scratch his head and get into his car resting his head on the steering wheel. It was like he was upset, but why on Earth would he be upset, he is the one who ruined it. I just finished it. I watched him drive away and starting wondering around the house. Dawdling through the hallways, kitchen, bathroom, upstairs, basically everywhere. Eventually I sat down and started playing with my hair, twirling it in between my fingers. I had to forget about this, no more negativity. Today is meant to be a happy day not a miserable one. I rested my elbows on my knees and rested my head on my hands and stared at my feet moving them from side to side humming a random tune.

â�œHow did it go?â� Brianna asked walking into the kitchen opening the fridge.
â�Okay I guess I just told him to get out and its over.â�
â�Wow. You did it simple. That is so hard to do.â�
â�It wasnâ�™t for me, he wanted to apologise and stuff but I didnâ�™t let him talk.â�
â�Smart, so do you know what time we have to leave for Josieâ�™s appointment?â�
â�Not sure, but its soonâ�¦and can you not tell the others about this?â�
â�Yeah sureâ�
â�IM DEAD SERIOUS. Donâ�™t say a word please. Your promise me?â�
â�I promiseâ�
â�ok. Good.â�
â�Mmhmm, Iâ�™ll get the others up to get ready so we can leave.â� Brianna mumbled walking upstairs. . I followed and went into my room and got my phone and bag. And walked back down and got in the car, to wait for the others.

Josie skipped along with Brianna and Alana to he car and got up.
â�HEYYYY GIRL HEYYYY!â� Josie yelled getting in the car.
â�Wow, someones happy.â� I said starting the car
â�Ofcourse I am.â�
â�Oh my god my ear aches SO badâ�
â�Maybe youâ�™ve been listening to your iPod too much.â�
â�Maybe.â� I sighed driving away.
â�What happened last night, I couldâ�™ve sworn I heard yelling and things been thrown around.â� Alana asked going through her bag.
â�What? Haha Hahaâ�¦thatâ�™s preposterous. We were all asleep.â� I choked.
â�Yeah!â� Brianna squeakishly said.
â�Hmmâ�¦whatâ�™s going on?â� Josie asked looking oddly at Alana.
â�Nothing. Its just seriously weird how you heard all that noise, and we were all sound asleepâ�¦ well I think we all were.â� I said acting like I was confused.
â�I know.â� Alana said resting her head on the window.

We sat in the waiting room for over half an hour, before we actually got to see the doctor, Spencer arrived just before we got called in.
â�Josephine and Spencer Smith!â� the doctor called as Spencer held out his hand for Josie to take and they walked into the doctors room.

I sat there with my bag in my lap staring at everyone around me. It was so dull. I looked over to see Brianna stuffing a pop tart n her face.
â�WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT?â� I asked slapping her
â�My bagâ�¦?â�
â�WHAT THE HELL.â�
â�Uhhâ�¦ whateverâ� She mumbled continuing to eat her pop tart.

I started feeling claustrophobic. Being around children and pregnant ladies.
â�I need some air, pronto.â� I sighed hastily walking outside. When I got outside I felt like I could finally breathe. I sat down and looked around. There was a food store, so I got up and went into the shop and bought a dr. pepper and came back to sit down. Alana came out and sat next me.
â�God, now I can finally breathe.â�
â�OH MY GOD I COULDNâ�™T BREATHE EITHER!â� I said.
â�I really hope Josieâ�™s not pregnant.â� Alana sighed.
â�Tell me about it, If I cant stand being in there, its gonna be worse living with a child.â�
â�I know. Can I have some?â� Alana said gesturing to my can
â�Sure just donâ�™t drink it all.â� I said handing her the can.
â�These are the times I wish I smoked.â�
â�Youâ�™re a dickhead. DONâ�™T EVER SMOKE!!â� Alana yelled,
â�I know I wont. Eww, yuck.â� I gasped.
â�Well they might know the result lets go,â� She said passing me the can
â�OH MY GOD ITS EMPTY! I TOLD YOU NOT TO!â� I yelled.
â�Sorry I got carried away.â�
â�Bitchâ� I grunted throwing the can into the bin. We walked in and sat back down waiting
â�Way to leave me here by myselfâ�
â�Meh.â� I shrugged as Josie same out with Spencer holding hands
â�well?â� I said impatiently
â�wellâ�¦â� Spencer started smiling at Josie
â�IM NOT FUCKING PREGNANT!! YAY! I CAN KEEP MY SEXY BODY AND NOT HAVE LITLE RETARDED KIDS FOLLOWING ME AROUNDD!!â� Josie screamed jumping up and down
â�OH MY GOD FUCK YES!â� I screamed running up hugging Spencer then Josie.
Everyone was staring at us pretty offended by Josieâ�™s words considering they all had kids.
â�Okay, lets go im scared of this place.â� Brianna said pulling everyone outside.

That night we spent it celebrating. We had our friends coming over. It was more big then what I expected. It seemed there was something more, something else.
â�Oh my god hi!â� William said hugging me coming through the door.
â�Hello thereâ� I laughed
â�OH MY GOD TOTAL RAGER BABY WOOHOOâ� Adam yelled running through our door.
â�You guys are so weird.â� Brianna said hugging Michael. He was from Australia so we knew him pretty well.
I looked around and smiled to myself. Seeing everyone so happy and proud, it made me forget about my problems. I sat down with a few of our friends at the table and starting joining in the conversation
â�Whereâ�™d you get your dress fromâ� My friend asked me pointing to my yellow and green floral printed strapless dress.
â�I donâ�™t know, just found it, lying around.â�
â�Well itâ�™s amazing. I love itâ�
â�Thank you.â� I said taking a sip of my champagne.
â�Did you do something to your hair?â� Ryan asked sitting next to me
â�Yeah I just got a few black streaks into it. Im thinking of dying my hair blonde. Like white blonde.â� I smiled.
â�That would look pretty yummy. But I think your perfect the way you are.â� He laughed.
â�Thanks.â� I said looking at the floor.
â�Whatâ�™s wrong?â� he asked.
â�Nothing. Nothing at allâ� I tried to fake a smile. Ryan glared at me with his brown eyes.
â�Okay okay. Well I broke up with Jared last night. And I keep thinking it wasnâ�™t the right thing to do. I get so carried away sometimes. I seriously suffer from rage blackouts,â� I said.
â�Why what happened?â�
â�Well, I think he was cheating on me but im not sure, I jumped to conclusions and didnâ�™t even let him explain.â�
â�Well we all know the answer.â�
â�Well, whatâ�™s that?â�
â�That he did, he doesnâ�™t deserve you.â�
â�How do you know he did? Seriously.â�
â�Its obvious please donâ�™t make me explain it.â�
â�I wasnâ�™t going to.â� I grumbled standing up and walking off.
â�Wait!â� Ryan said following me upstairs. I closed my door and sat on my bed

revenge is sweeter than you ever were chapter 12

The four of us sat at our table eating in silence. I could tell Josie was really upset, she hates it when people brake promises and lie to her. Worst thing you could ever do to her. seriously. This was probably the most awkward dinner we had ever had. we always talked about stupid things. Once we were finished Josie offered to clean up. That was also very odd. she hated cleaning. The rest of us sat in our study on the couch and started talking quietly among ourselves.
"Shes seriously pissed off. Wasn't Spencer meant to explain to her." Brianna asked.
"Yeah he did, I don't think she is pissed about that" I said.
"Then what. Is it?"
"The fact that if she is pregnant well have to postpone the band,"
"Shell have to get married with spencer, even though to her that wouldnt be bad. but it will cost a lot," Alana whispered
"And shell have to move out because there wont be any room to for a child in this house and our lives." Brianna said.
"This seriously blows." Alana sulked.
"Well If shes pregnant thats her decision not our-" I started as we heard a loud smash from the kitchen , then loud crying.
"OH MY GOD!" Brianna screamed jumping up an running to the kitchen. Alana and I looked at eachother and followed behind. Josie was on the floor around smashed plates crying loudly.
"FUCK! DID YOU HURT YOURSELF?" Alana yelled kneeling down picking up the smashed peices of plate.
"No.." Sobbed Josie.
"Whats wrong, are you angry with me? Im really sory, Spencer is the one who told all of them I didnt say anythign until after they knew from spencer."
"I know he told me."
"Then whats wrong." Brianna asked.
"THE FACT THAT I MIGHT BE PREGNANT WITH A BABY I DONT WANT!"
"Dude dont get worked up, your not officially pregnant, your preobably not even pregnant."
"I know.. but I think I am."
"Whens your appointment?" I aksed hgging her.
"Tomorrow"
"THATS AWESOME, get a goodnights sleep and tomorrow well find out for sure"
"mmhmm" She sobbed standing up.
"Dont worry, what ever happens we'll be here."
"Yeap even if you are having a mini you or mini spencer. WELL BE THE BEST AUNTIES IN THE WORLD!" Brianna jumped happily.
"Oh my god YER! if you have girl were gonna make her the best dressed baby in the world. AND THE BEST DRUMMER" I said joining Brianna
"OH YEAH! and shell be one talented drummer baby, her mum and pop are drummers." Alana laughed.
"Sure will." Josie laughed wiping her tears from her eyes.
"Group hug!" I yelled suffocating josie.
"Oh my god, i probably look like a douche bag huh?"
"Just your make-up hunn." Brianna laughed pointing to her eyeliner dripping on her face.

That nightt, the four of us slept quietly in each of our rooms. Well atleast I tried. The room was still freezing and i couldnt sleep. This time, I didnt want to wake up anyone so I rang Jared. It took a while for him to answer. But when he did it wasnt very happy moment. Music was playing loud and a girl was lauging in the background.

"Hello" He said very angry and out of breath.
"Uhm hello??"
"OH FUCK, HI STEPH I DIDNT REALSE!"
"Im sure, you know I cant really hear you behind, that music...an...d...that girl....laughing or moaning or whatever."
"Yeah sorry its just a friend, our album went double platinum and were having sort of a party with our closest friends" He sighed walking to a quiet area of where he was.
"Okayy."
"So whats wrong?
"Nothing I just wantd to speak to you, so much has gone on and i needed someone to talk to. But obviously your busy so I'll go."
"No, No its fine. I like talking to you. whats been going on?" He asked acting all concerned, I knew he wasnt. After all he was an actor.
"Well, Josie thinks shes pregnant, and this place has just gone all awkward and lonely. she thought i told everyone when Her boyfriend did instead. and she got pissed at me, and then he told her that he told everyone.." I said, i stopeed halfway when i heard a girl calling him baby in the background. I coughed loudly. to get his attention.
"Hmm yeah? Honey, thats so bad, Dont worry Ill come see you tomorrow, how about that?"
"Id rather not see you."
"Why?"
"Because i know what will happen if you do. and no offense but i dont want to catch anything"
"Whats that suposed to mean hmm?" He said all angry because he knew that I knew.
"OH DONT WORRY I KNOW. IM NOT A BLONDE DITZED SLUT LIKE THE REST OF THEM." I screamed loudly hanging up my phone and throwing it at the wall crying. It didnt phase me at the time that Brianna was standing at the door watching everything.
"I told you he was a manwhore." Brianna said walking slowly to my bed I giggled even though hearing that just made it worse.
"I hope you havent already caught like aids or something."
"Dont remind me" I said letting out a huge sob still bawling my eyes out.
"Dont worry, he cant hurt you more than that. Hes an ass, hell die old and lonely."
"True." I cried. It hurt more the fact that Ive had a crush on him for ages and when I get to go out with him he just breaks my heart.
"I need sleep, and to forget about this." I said rolling over to try and sleep.
"Kay, goodnight-ey-o" Brianna laughed walking out.
Soon after I fell asleep. It was the easiest time i had ever been able to sleep.

In the morning I woke up to brianna throwing pillows at me whispering really fast
"What, WHAT?" I said mumblng squinting at her.
"JAREDS HERE!" brianna whispered slapping me.
"OH MY GOD! I GOTTA CHANGE GO TELL HIM SHES COMING DOWN BUT DONT LOOK LIKE YOU KNOW.""
"okok , hurry up. look hot so he knows what hes missing YEAH!" she said running out. I ran to my wardrobe and put on stockings and a grey short skirt and gold high heel peep toe shoes with a thick bottom. and a t-shirt with a long cardigan and a grey beret with a black bow on the side with thick rimmed glasses. I walked out of my room and slowly walked down the stairs like those models in those ads. he stared at me with his mouth open.
"Heyy" He said in frisky voice smiling.
"What are you doing at my house.?" I asked angrily.
"I wanted to apologise. Its not what you think. I would never cheat on you. Ever. I love you." he said apoligetically. But i laughed in face.
"You know what the most hilarious thing is about all of this?" I asked.
"What?" he laughed.
"The fact that you think im a bimbo and im really stupid. For your information, Im probably the smartest girl you know. And fucked. And I know your an actor but I can tell the difference when your acting and your not.. This is real life and its sad you have to act to get out of troubles in the real world, apologising. I find it ridiculously hilarious." I said acting all smart. for once i felt extremely nerdy.
He was lost for words
"Sorry?" he said
"Sorry won't cut it this time Jay." I whispered signaling for him to leave.
"But--"
"Dont make it hard for me, its aleady hard enough." I said closing the door.

revenge is sweeter than you ever were chapter 11 :O

'the circle of truth'

ahaha i decided to name all the chapters.

"Whats the time?" Ryan yawned
"Like, four in the morning, why?" I said sitting down on his bed next to him.
"OK, and why couldnt you sleep?"
"Very, very cold, man, its freezing in my room, i was tossing all night."
"Well maybe, your whole room is haunted and filled with ghosts" He smiled.
"great, Ryan, its four in the morning and your scaring me. How nice of you."
"mmhmm"
"can I sleep in here, I promise i wont steal the blanket, or snore or anything,. PLEASEE IM SO SCARED NOW"
"What the fuck, stephanie, I was joking ghosts arent real."
"Yes they are and Ive always thought my room was haunted. PLEASE??" i cried almost begging.
"Ugghhh, fine. this was actually the first time ive actually stayed in a bed in this house, and i have to share with you."
"I swear your so moody tonight, Im seriously not joking." I laughed getting in the bed.
"mmk. goodnight steph."
"Goodnight betchka"
"..ohhkayy..." He mumbled turning off the lamp.

I woke up with the sun rays gleaming on my face reflected by the mirror on Alanas wall. I turned around and saw Ryan still dead asleep. so I picked up my bottle and and walked you and saw Josie satring at me. She slowly walked up to me.
"Can I talk to you, privately."
"Okayy..dont tell me anyones dead, or your pregnant"
"its nothing like that you asswhole."
"mmk" I said walking to my room with her.
we both sat down on the bed.
"You know, Ive known you for ages, and you know when i really mean something yea?"
"Yeahh, why whats wong."
"Well theres 2 things."
"YEAH WHAT HE HELL ARE THEY?"
"well I think I'm pregnant. But I'm not sure." She looked so serious and worried but i couldnt help but laugh.
"THATS NOT FUNNY IM SO SCARED! Its going to ruin the band, our lives, this house, spencer, my body. Oh my god this sucks."
"Your most likely not even pregnant. stop jumping to conclusions. but dont tell anyone incase your not pregnant, your going to get everyone worried."
"True. man I seriously hope im not."
"We need to get you pregnancy test things. And what was the other thing you wanted to say?"
"Oh uhm, You know how i saw you leave Ryans room?"
"Yeahh, oh no , its not like that."
"Well anyone can see Ryan like, really likes you, Don't make it hard for him when hes trying his hardest not to show his real feeling and you keep doing little things like sleeping on him and sleeping in his bed with him. Choose him or Jared. AND DONT CHEAT ON NEITHER OF THEM! because i will seriously beat your ass."
"OK, OK calm down, its nothing like that were just friends. Im with Jared, and couldnt be happier."
"Ok i trust you, just dont hurt either of them."
"Ok. moving on. awkwardd. well lets go to the shops before everyone gets up." I said standing up kicking josie out of the room, got dressed in my skinny leg jeans, flannelette shirt, with a long silk scarf tied around my neck with a beret and my raybans and ballet flats and grabbed my bag and ran out trying not to wake aynone up, Josie was waiting at the door, wearing skinny jeans, a tee shirt with a hoodie, a gangster cap and chucks. we ran out side and got in the car, driving slowly so we didnt wake anyone up. and went to the nearest discount store.
"Oh my god theyve got a bills bargains, how freaky.?" Josie gsped, getting out of the car walking into the shop.
"Like freaky deaky dutch that is." I laughed running with her to the isle with the pregnancy tests.
"Didi you bring your purse?" I asked looking through my bag.
"Uhm,...no. did you?"
"Nope."
"Welll how are we gonna pay for them?"
"Well everyone knows all girls have leftover change theyve chucked in heir bag, look" I said looking through my bag still, I eventually pulled out $2.30 and Josie pulled out $3.40
"Hmm $5.70 we can only get like 3."
"I know. Oh my god i feel so povo right now."
"Tell me about it. Right now, i am so glad not to be paparazzi famous"
"HELL YES" I yelled grabbing the 3 pregnancy test boxes and walking to the counter, we paid for them and drove back home.

we opened the door quiet as a mouse and tip toed upstairs to my room.
"Oh geez, I never thought something like this would ever occur." I sighed laying on my bed staring at the roof.
"I know, I better not be pregnant." Josie said grabbing the tests and walking into my bathroom. a short while later i heard the words 'holy fuck' come from my toilet so i walked over and stood by the door.
"Whats wrong?" I asked, even though i knew the answer.
"You know damn well."
"I know, sorry well how many have you tried?
"Two" she sulked coming out of the bathroom.
"Well what were the results?"
"One was positive, one was negative"
"Let me try one, they might be rigged."
"Go for it," she cried sitting on my bed as i went into the bathroom and tried one.
I came back out and sat on the bed waiting for the results.
"Im so sorry, we'll figure something out if your pregnant." I said rubbing her back. I picked up one of the test and loked at the result; positive
"What the fucking fuck fuck?" I screamed looking at it
"You picked up the wrong one stephanie" Josie sighed staring at the floor.
"Oh..fuck,...that scared me, shit, that would suck." I sighed with releif.
"Youll have to tell spencer, if you are, hell need to know, I know he will be fine, hes not an ass." I said trying to comort Josie sittng on the floor staring at the test which said positive.
"I know, I will, dont tell anyone."
"I wont, you need to make sure your pregnant before you actually tell anyone else." i said.
"Yeah Ill go ring for appointment now" She sighed standing up and walking out.

Josie walked into her room and stood there staring at Spencer asleep. She sighed and slowly creeped to her bag and got her phone and dialed the number of the doctor and walked into her bathroom closing the door. Spencer slowly woke up and heard Josie talking through the bathroom. He yawned and got up slowly and walked to the bathrom door with his ear glued to the door listening to every word.
Before she walked out spencer jumped back in bed and sat up acting like he just got up.

"Morning!" He said pretending to yawn.
"Hey Spence." Josie sighed sitting on spencer kissing him.
"Is there something you need to tell me?" Spencer asked pulling away. Josie knew straight away he knew something was wrong.
"Uhm I need to talk to you about something." Josie said sitting next to spencer staring at her hands in her lap.
"I know, I heard everything, and don't worry everything will work out, it always does." Spencer said pulling josie into a hug.
"Where you listening?" Josie questioned
"Uhm, yes."
"YOU LITTLE SNITCH!" josie laughed throwing a pillow at Spencer.

Unfortunately it was never kept a secret, Spencer told all of Panic! at the disco. and Brianna punched it out of Brendon. Hard. He had to tell everyone he fell off his skateboard. After that, Brianna told Alana and after that. Everyone of us knew. And I didnt say a word.

"Oh my god, did you hear? Josie might be pregnant!!" Alana whispered to me as Jon,Ryan,Brendon, Alana, Brianna and I sat at the couch watching TV.
"Hmmm" I said very uninterested.
Everyone was silently whispering among themselves as Josie and Spencer were in their rooms talking..about her getting pregnant.

"Do you think she is pregnant?" Brendon asked Brianna
"Yeap. She was puking yesterday after dinner"
"She ate sushi from a cheep-o store what do you expect?" I butted in.
"Yeah but I ate it too and I didnt puke." Alana said.
"So, you might have a better immune system than her, so what. I know I do." I butted in once again.
"You know something Dont you Kelso?" Jon asked. Kelso was my childood nickname that Jon found out about.
"WHAT?! NO I DONT KNOW ANYMORE THAN YOU DO!"
"Im sure" Jon replied giving me a greasy.
"OH MY GOD SHE THINKS SHES PREGNANT BECAUSE SHE HAD A PREGNNCY TEST AND ONE OF THEM CAME UP POSITIVE!! FUCKING HELL!!" I scremed standing up.
Everyone sat in awe staring at me
"OH MY GOD I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE STEPHANIE AND YOU GO AND TELL EVERYONE, EVEN WORSE SCREAMING IT OUT!" Josie yelled. she ran to her room.
"YOU guys are complete retards now she wont talk to me because she thinks i told you when I didnt. some dickhead did." I said staring a spencer.
"What?" he asked looking innocent
"You know! you and me are the only ones who knew and i certainly didnt tell anyone."
"Well......Uhm... I dont know" Spencer stutterd.
"GO TELL HER YOU TOLD THEM AND I WAS JUST YELLING AT THEM! NOW! SHELL FORGIVE YOU!"
"No she WILL NOT"
"YES SHE WILL. it is your baby if shes pregnant so you can tell anyone.""
"True."
"WELL!?" I said pointing to josies room.
"Fine.." Spencer said running upstairs.
Everyne just sat their quietly as me and spencer yelled at eachother.
"WHAT?" I yelled crossing my arms sitting back down grumpily.
"Nothing, I think we should get going guys." Brendon said standing up finding his keyes from his pocket.
"Ill call you later babe" Brendon continued kissing Brianna hard on the lips.
"bye" she said jumping up and walking the three of them to the door.
"Bye, guys" I said playing with my zip on my jacket.
"Bye Kelso." they said walking out.

Half an hour later, Spencer was still with Josie and us 3 were still siting in the couch, in the same seating positions, and hadnt said a word to eachother.
"AWKWARDDD" Brianna randomly said standing up stretching.
"I know tell me about it" I said.

.... :)

revenge is sweeter than you ever were chapter 10

Later that night, the eight of us sat at our dinner table enjoying a meal cooked by none other than Jon, he was the only one who knew how to cook a descent meal.
"

So how has everyone been since we had our last weekly get together?" Spencer asked taking a bite.
"Just the usual, work," I said doing the same
"getting hot famous guys numbers," Alana squealed
"Catching someone nearly about to get it on," Brianna laughed staring at me. I stuck my rude finger at her.
"Hearing the most disturbing 3 words in my life." Josie said depressingly.
"Wow, thats, quite... uhm. odd" Ryan mumbled slightly confused.
"How about you guys?" Alana questioned.
" not as interesting as your week, just interviews," Brendon said in between bites.
"waiting in line 4 hours for a dozen of Krispy Creme donuts and then getting half of them stolen from a bum on the street, thanks ryan," Jon muttered looking at Ryan.
"WELL ITS NOT MY FAULT IM WEAK, YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDNT HAVE FUCKING GIVEN THEM TO ME." Ryan yelled getting up from his seat with his plate.
"PMS." Spencer whispered loud enough to josie.
"Ugh," Muttered Ryan stumping to the kitchen.

"JOSIE AND SPENCER YOU GUYS HAVE TO DO THE DISHES!" Brianna laughed sitting down on the couch with brendon watching Napoleon Dynamite.
"But we did them last week, were not doing them again ok?" Josie said.
"Fine, Alana you can."
"Uhh NO! I DID THEM THE NIGHT BEFORE, HEYY WAIT A SECOND, when was the last time you and brendon did the dishes, huh?" Alana asked
"Uhm, like yesterday,"
"NO YOU DIDNT i had to do the whole lot at lunch because you asses sat up and ate loads of food and i wasnt even there!" I grunted.
"Well were not doing them," Brendon demanded.
"Yes you are end of story young man, now go! and you brianna!" Jon yelled stealing the remote off Brendon
"Fool asses" Brianna muttered walking over to the kitchen with Brendon not far behind.

I went over and sat at the table with Alana and Josie as Ryan went over to sit with Spencer and Jon.
"So Josie whats up with you and spencer bear?" Alana asked tapping her nails against the table.
"uhm.."
"Uhm what?"
"Okay I guess, just the usual boyfriend-girfriend stuff"
"im sure dude" I said laying my head on the table.
"Well weve only been going out for 3 weeks, 2 days, 16 hours and 45 minutes"
"What? you count?!"
"well doesnt everyone"
"NO! thats scary Josie, STOP COUNTING NOW BEFORE YOU KILL HIM"
"Okay. ill just estimate from now on,"
"Only in weeks though, not freaking minutes, god damn." Alana said throwing grapes at briannas head from the kitchen.
"HEY YOU COCK, I HAVE TO CLEAN THESE SO STOP IT!" Brianna yelled.
"can you please shut up, were trying to watch this flippin' sweet movie, GOSH!" Jon said, trying to imitate napoleon dynamite
"Jon, you seriously can not ever do that again, you sounded SO bad. Only Ryan could pull that off, so well, and i bet if we gave him a perm and, well yeah, he dresses like Napoleon already so thats all we need to do, OH and get him some grandma glasses hed look exactly like Napoleon Dynamite." Alana said going up stairs.
"OH MY GOD! thats so freaking true dude." Spencer said laughing histarically pointing at Ryan as Ryan folded his arms and looked at his legs.
"Aw, leave him alone," I pouted sitting next to him and pulling him into a hug
"...even though thats true" I said as he pulled away and gasped at me.
"Hey its true you even talk like him without noticing."
"No I do not"
"Yes you do. Full stop."
"Ehh.." he said hugging me.

We watched the rest of napoleon dynamite begging Ryan to repeat the lines Napoleon said trying to find the similarities, which were easy to find.
After that we put on Knocked up, but basically everyone was too tired to pay attention to the story line excpet brendon who was laughing the whole way through.

"Josie Im really tired im going to bed okay?" Spencer yawned getting up and walking towards the stairs.
"Yeah sure, I'll come I'm tired as hell. Goodnight everyone."
"Yeah see you two in the morning." I yawned.

Josie finally layed in bed and turned off the lamp after two hours of getting ready, taking make-up off, finding clothes for tomorow and basically everything else.
"Two hours later.." Spencer mumbled with his head buried in the pillow
"Well if I leave any amount of visable make-up cosmetic on at all, it can lead to seriously bad acne, oily skin, blocked pores and blotchiness and I don't want that, and you wouldn't either hun."
"Oh well just do it faster dont take forever I lose all my energy and by the time you come out I'm basically already asleep."
"So thats why we never have sex!"
"Uh-huh, right on the spot."
"Well tomorrow I'll be so quick, you wont even notice I'm gone at all."
"Great. Goodnight baby" Spencer said lifting up his head off the pillow and landing a long kiss onto Josie's lips, and returned to his previous position, holding Josie tightly around the waist as Josie held on to his hand, letting out a huge sigh of releif that the day was over and started falling asleep.

Tonight, I finally got to sleep in my own bed. I seemed like the only one nice enough to always give it away to people, but tonight Alana decided to sleep on the couch with Jon on the other and Ryan slept in Alanas room. I tightly wrapped the blanket around me, wishing I had a heater in my room. I turned of my lamp and put my phone alarm on and switched the ring style to vibrate. I turned over and curled around on my side. I spent the whole night tossing and turning, only sleeping for about 4 hours the whole night and in the morning I had a photoshoot. I grumpily sat up, rubbed my eyes and picked up my phone and saw the time: 4:00 in the morning. I groaned and got out of bed and headed to the kitchen, and looked over at Alana and Jon, Jon was snoring extremely loud and I could tell Alana knew because she had a pillow over her head and had obviously been throwing pillows a Jon, due to the numerous amounts of pillows over him. I got myself a large water bottle and headed upstairs, maybe someone else was up besides me, I needed someone to talk to.

I walked across the hallway and looked in each room;
Brianna and Brendon were dead asleep, holding eachother close together. I didnt want to disturb them, they were too cute.
I headed to Josies room and saw them asleep aswell, holding eachother tightly. The only one left in the house was Ryan, or if he was asleep our Puppy, Newman. I tip-toed towards Alanas room and peeped in to see Ryan asleep, I put my head against the wall and moaned, upset that no one was awake, I took a long sip of my water and stood up straight about to walk back to bed, to ring Jared, hes rang me this late, until I stopped halfway in my tracks, startled by a familiar voice saying 'Stalker'. I turned around to see Ryan sitting up and puting the lamp on.

"Im so sorry if I woke you, I didnt mean to, I can let you get back to sleep if you want, sorry Ry," I mumbled pointing behind me.
"No Steph thats fine, don't worry, I couldnt sleep anyway, come in, and close the door on your way in, We dont want to wake the others up" He smiled yawning and rubbing his eyes, i walked slowly into Alanas room and closed thedoor behind me...

:| lol.

boredumm.

BUZZNET WONT LET ME CHECK MY DRAFTS

how do i do it besides from the actual journal page,

is there soemthing that says manage drafts.

i neeeeed it

FUCKING GODDAMN

i hate it when shit like this happens